The Christian

My father, bless his soul, disagrees with my chosen philosophy of atheism. I don't disparage his beliefs at all (he's not an extremist) but we have had a conversation or two about mine, and he is understandably concerned for my soul.

This morning he sent me this little story

The Atheist

An atheist was taking a walk through the woods. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself

As he continued walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes. Turning to look, he saw a 7 foot grizzly charging towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. Looking over his shoulder he saw that the bear was closing in on him. His heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run even faster.

He tripped and fell on the ground. he rolled over to pick himself up but saw the bear raising his paw to take a swipe at him. At that instant the atheist cried out "Oh my God!..."

Time stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent

It was then that the bright light shone upon the man and a voice came out of the sky saying "You deny my existence for all of these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"

The atheist looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps, could you make the BEAR a Christian?"

"Very well", said the voice. The light went out. And the sounds of the forest resumed. And then the bear lowered his paw, bowed his head and spoke, "Lord, bless this food which I am about to receive and for which I am truly thankful."

So I'm taking this opportunity to rewrite this story as it might actually happen:

The Christian

A Christian was taking a walk through the woods. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals! Bless the Lord for providing us with all the beauty of His Creation." he said to himself

As he continued walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes. Turning to look, he saw a 7 foot grizzly charging towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. Looking over his shoulder he saw that the bear was closing in on him. His heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run even faster.

He tripped and fell on the ground. he rolled over to pick himself up but saw the bear raising his paw to take a swipe at him. At that moment the Christian began to pray "Lord please help me out of this dire situation, I've served you well my whole life, gave my tithings every week and raised my children in the ways of God. Please Lord, please watch over me at protect me."

Time did not stop, because time doesn't do that. The bear did not freeze because the bear was following a natural instinct to protect itself and it's young. The forest was deafening with the growls of the bear and the screams of the Christian, as he was torn to shreds.

There, much better ;)

I still love you Dad!